Queen's Blade Hast Returned!

There’s a reason why I was looking forward to the new Queen’s Blade season more than almost every single other new show (save one). It’s shear ridiculousness and utter blatancy with it’s porn fanservice is something the whole family can enjoy. Let’s get it on!

Right off the bat we are greeted with Nanael's ass getting a scrub.

How I had missed this absolute blatant fanservice, which is weird, because I hate blatant fanservice. Well let me tell you. There is a line, a line which Queen’s Blade has crossed, where fanservice stops being annoyng, and starts being funny. Anyway, this episode actually wasn’t bad and had some elements of plot.

Who didn't see this coming from a mile away?

It turns out that the head angel (or whoever that huge angel is) has decided that Naneal will participate in Queen’s Blade. Of course, Nanael has no chance, because I’m still not even sure on how her name is spelled. Anyway, this first episode pretty much started off by re-introducing all of the main characters. I’m’ going to mainly use screen-shots in this post, because without screen shots, a review of Queen’s Blade is pretty much pointless.

This is the best character in Queen's Blade. This is a fact.

Allean is definitely the coolest looking character in Queen’s Blade (just look at that sick hat! She looks like a Scotsman.) and also the overall best character. This is a fact because I said it. She of course, has to deal with Nowa, who is kind of like a daughter to her (they’ll probably have sex or something close).

Yea you probably should have

Let me touch on Nowa for a bit. No, I don’t mean that I want to literally touch on Nowa (she’s clearly underage), but I want to talk about her. I of course do not approve of underage girls without pants, however, given the ridiculousness of Queen’s Blade, it’s okay for anyone to not wear pants at anytime. Basically, Queen’s Blade is allowed to do anything and I won’t get mad. I mean, let’s face it, no one takes this show seriously, and if you do, then you should be given some kind of award, or be placed in a mental hospital. Well, then, now that we’ve talked about the best character in Queen’s Blade (Allean), I think it’s time to talk about the worst. Of course I am referring to Reina:

I'm surprised Reina didn't fall from here.

Reina sucks. I wish she would die, but she’s obviously the main character, and in a show like this, where the plot is simple as can be, I think that it’s fairly obvious that she’s going to somehow win Queen’s Blade. She’s easily the worst main character ever, and maybe one of the worst characters ever, if not for her huge rack and huge ass (I seriously think that they increased the size of her ass for this season). Anyway, the only interest I have in Reina is how many cliffs she’s going to fall off of this season.

With their forces combined, they'd have an average set of boobs (well, they'd still be huge).

Okay, so here’s an odd pairing: The character with the biggest tits in the show (Cattleya) and the smallest non-existant tits (Ymir).

Because you are a child you child!

So now I’d like to take some time to point out some of the more “family oriented” portions of the episode. And by family oriented, I mean boobs and tentacle rape.

First breast fondling of the new season, just thought I'd add it. By the way, the girl whose breast is being fondled (Irma I think). She is a pretty sick character.

Umm....a picture says 1000 words I guess.

This poor girl was just passing by the breast fondling session, when suddenly her weapon (or something) just rapes the shit out of her. It was the most random rape ever and I actually laughed quite hard.

The smartest characters in Queen's Blade.

Basically, the three “bad apples” are kind of hangin’ out, and then Melona (because she’s an idiot) decides to go and try to kill the Queen by herself (because she’s an idiot). Before I get into this, let me flashback to the first episode of Queen’s Blade.

I recall Melona getting riled up and fighting Reina, and losing in the first battle of that season. Now here we are, first episode of this season, and what do you think will happen?

Melona gets riled up and begins fighting the Queen Aldra, and then loses and the result is such:

Yet again, Melona essentially dies in the first episode.

I can’t wait for next week!

Free Verse Doggerel to the GOP

 

 

Donkey Burro Ass
What the heck   We don’t have Rush And we don’t have Beck We never had Cheney And we didn’t like Bush   Take ‘em all to a cliff And then holler Push   They hate Obama They loathe Al Gore They’re mad hell And what’s more   They’d rather see you sick or worse, while they tighten the drawstrings on their purse   Carry their guns Spread some lies While we keep winning the Nobel Prize.   Angry, nasty, always railin’ I think they caught something from Sarah Palin.    

 

 

Sollevare i mucchi di grasso delle cosce di una donna molto in carne

I love to lift heaps of cellulite and squeeze them well

(clip from Amazing Pear XXX movie by MercedesBBW.com)

Ieri notte, altra scopata da fine del mondo con la mia grassa moglie. Lei sopra a dominarmi usando il mio pene come più le garbava, io sotto a godere delle sue forme prosperose.

Era a gattoni sopra di me, con la gamba destra protesa in avanti. Verso di me. Si sorreggeva con il piede destro e il ginocchio sinistro e io avevo la possibilita’ di palpare la carne della sua coscia. Sembrava quasi mi volesse invitare a soppesare i mucchi di cellulite che in gran copia riempiono le sue meravigliose cosce. Mentre lei si massaggiava il clitoride, io sollevavo le pesanti sacche di carne appese alle sue cosce e le massaggiavo l’interno della vagina con il mio pene. Era talmente irrigidito di fronte a tanto lardo che sembrava dovesse esplodere da un momento all’altro. Strofinavo, spingevo e palpavo. Con l’altra mano le afferravo una mammella e me la mettevo in bocca a mo’ di borraccia, succhiando dentro la carne e leccando come un assetato. Oppure le palpavo l’altro lato dei suoi fianchi. Oppure mi aggrappavo al suo culo per spingermi ancora piu’ dentro di lei. Godevo del suo grasso.

Sono venuto così, con la testa sommersa da una sua tetta (una basta e avanza per coprirmi la faccia) e il mio corpo circondato dal suo grasso.

Footstool, Part 1

So I texted Jason the other night and he thrilled me by replying, “Hanging out at my place with friends, come by if you want.”

I was so nervous when I walked through his door, seeing three young guys with Jason, enjoying some beverages.  He patted the couch next to me and said, “Come sit down, Cassie.”  I sat next to him and he casually put his arm around me.  “These are my buddies, Alan, Brandon, and Caleb.  I’ve been telling them how amazing you are.”

I blushed and said hello to the boys, all young and attractive of course.  Jason surprised me by grabbing my hair and pulling my lips to his.  His erection, as always, was unmistakable and my pussy responded in kind, despite the audience.  There was some coughing and chuckling in the room from the other men.  Jason’s hand unabashedly clutched my breast, squeezing hard until I moaned in pain, forgetting anything except my desire to please him.

He pulled my head back by my hair again and this time threw me to the ground.  Startled, I cried out as his bare foot came down gently on my face.  “You like that don’t you?”  A stifled cry escaped my throat and he said, “Speak up.  Do you need me to hurt you?  Even though my friends are here?”

“Yes, Sir, if it pleases you,” I said, regaining my senses a bit.

Removing his foot from my face he ordered me to my feet.  “Take off your clothes.”  I looked only into his eyes as I obeyed.  I felt his friends moving closer to me and began to tremble.  “You’re my object, aren’t you?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Then I can use you as I see fit.  And I would like to share you with my friends, just like I share my apartment, my books, or my food.”

“Yes, Sir,” I gulped, trying not to smile, still feeling a bit self-conscious being naked in front of these strangers.

“Get on your hands and knees.”

I complied, feeling the adrenaline already coursing through me from this unexpected situation.  Jason left the room and his friends circled around me.  When he returned he dropped a handful of condoms in front of me.  “I don’t think we’ll be needing the ropes today,” he said.  “You are going to be completely cooperative.”

My breathing quickened but I didn’t reply.  He pulled my head up to meet his eyes again and my body relaxed automatically.  He moved around behind me and began to spank, his friends still making comments that I couldn’t really make out.  They took turns, each with a different stroke.   Jason came around and put his hand on my neck, squeezing slightly while Caleb continued the spanking.  “Look at her pussy, you can tell how wet it’s getting already,” Jason said.

Alan’s hand shot between my legs and I moaned and squirmed as he nonchalantly stroked my clit.  “Very nice,” he murmered, removing his hand and smelling it.

“Who wants to be the first to try my slut’s mouth?” Jason asked, his hand still on my neck.  “You can’t wait, can you, Cassie?”

“If it pleases you, Sir,” I said.

“Oh geez, Jason, you are a lucky man,” Brandon said.  “I will definitely try that slut’s mouth.”  Jason pulled me up to meet Brandon’s cock, it was thick and shorter than Jason’s with lots of hair around the balls.

Jason forcefully pulled my hands behind my back and Brandon grabbed my head.  “Go ahead and lick it,” Jason said, his voice kept me steady.  My tongue flicked out and Brandon moaned.  “Isn’t that stud nice?”

“Oh yeah, it feels amazing.”  I knew Brandon meant it because I could already taste the pre-come on my tongue.  He pressed his cock into my mouth and I sucked hard.  Part of me wanted to see how quickly I could make him come so I could move on to the next one.

Meanwhile I felt Alan’s hands begin to explore my breasts.  “Pinch them, twist them, she really likes that,” Jason said.  Alan complied and I squeaked, my pussy contracting.  I could feel Jason’s cock pushing on my neck from behind, and Alan and Caleb stood on either side of me with their cocks in their hands.  Any inhibitions I may have had faded away as I enjoyed being responsible for the desire of four men.  None of them could compare to Jason’s gorgeous manhood but all of the lust in the room made me crazy.  I never felt so much like an object…and never dreamed I would enjoy it so much.

Styling Lesson No2 - Wardrobe Essentials : The Trench Coat!

There are some specific items that every man must have in his closet. One of the top priorities is the classic trench coat. There is no man that doesn’t look good in one and its so versatile that can be matched even with jeans for a more casual look. If you don’t want to look like a 20’s police agent be sure to avoid big fedora hats and remember to keep the accessories to a minimum. BLING OFF! The coat alone makes the statement!

So if your SL closet doesn’t include one…go and buy one NOW!

Hermes is wearing:

Skin: [ SKIN ][ Adam Crius_Origin ][ Chin Beard ]

Hair: Aitui – Hair – The Scheduler – Black

Coat: !_Ce Cubic effect Leather Coat(Black)

Shirt: Schadenfreude White Oxford Shirt

Tie: Schadenfreude Electro-Cute Skull Necktie (edited)

Cardigan: A:S:S – Sloppy Cardigan

Pants: Emery – Daft pants

Boots: ROT test boots

Sunglasses: Emery – Sunglasses Aviator (Silver Frames)

Cigarette: .:Hermony:. FilterCigarette

Get more Styling Lessons to MENipulation Blog!

Google Game: Butt (and other words you shouldn't say)

Being of a sophisticated and inquisitive manner, I decided today to Google search for “Butt.” As I finished the word the typical list of suggestions appeared:

But then, when I hit the spacebar, they all vanished. I tried again. And again, the same thing. No-space gave me butterfly tattoos and buttons. Space gave me bupkis. I wondered, “Is Google trying to tell me something?” I was no longer seeking mere search results; I was seeking answers. So I did what anyone would do. I typed in “Ass.”

Same thing. No-space, 10 recommendations. Space, zilch. As soon as it was clear I wasn’t looking for the Associated Press or a health provider, my query was deemed undeniably dirty, and I got the shaft.

Abandoning synonyms I went for “Boobs.” Nothing at all. (Nor for the singular.) And “penis”? Shot down once again.

I contacted Google to ask if there was a policy preventing search suggestions for inappropriate words. And there is:

We try to filter out suggestions that include pornographic terms, dirty words, and hate and violence terms.

In essence Google is taking a step back, so as not to endorse the smut you’re looking for, a spokesperson confirmed. (Of course, the search engine will still go get it for you, as long as you’re specific.) I asked if they’d provide a list of no-no words. They said, “no.”

But if what I’m looking for could be part of a harmless word — like the “ass” in assault rifles, for example — I’ll at least come up with something. Which makes it particularly interesting that you get the following from “vagi”…

…but as soon as you put an “n” on there, the suggestion list goes blank. According to Google: Vagi = A-OK; Vagin = Nish Nish. Ladies, looks like you’ll have to go straight to WebMD for that vaginal itching.

Oh, and don’t even bother looking up “Dick.” All you get are Dicks Vitale, Blick, Tracy, Clark and Cheney.

I think the lesson here is that freedom of speech — including its manifestations in a digital world, call it freedom of search — is sacred. More so is our collective right to publicly disavow our perverted or antisocial inclinations. It’s all out there, and someone else is thinking it, too. Like Google, we’ll just pretend we don’t know that.

Lily Allen And Her Bum Bum That Won't Quit

Lily Allen was performing the other day and these pictures were taken that prove that home girl has a phat old ass. We here at InternetPopular have been cool with Lily every since she busted in on the music scene with Alright, Still. Now though she has gotten really comfortable with the performance aspect of music and is showing off her bum bum like it’s no ones business.

And for that we like Lily Allen even more.

Canned Discount.

There are times we do things for charity, like working with a local foodbank accepting cans in exchange for a discount. There was an older man who spoke no English, and I have a rule–never visit a country if you can’t speak any of the language. If you do, bring someone that can speak for you.

So he comes up and hands me a pile of clothes and puts a flier on top–which announces the charitable event–canned goods for discount. I ring up his purchace, because he has no canned goods, so I act as if he’s just resting it on the counter. And he sees the total and shakes the paper at me.

“It says you get discount if you bring in canned food.”

He stares at me.

“Canned food. Cans. Vegetables. Food.”

He still stares at me and points at it.

“Charity? Fundraising? Homeless? Starving?”

He still stares at me, so I go to the donation box and show him a can of vegetables. And he shakes his head. Then says, “I give, I get can?”

“No, the cans are for charity. For the poor. For people that have no home.”

He shakes his head angrily, wanting the discount. And I point at the box again. He yells, “No can!” while pointing at himself–he doesn’t want any cans, and I doubt he’s homeless.

In the end, he just slams down the flier and says, “No buy,” and walks away. Now there is a man, if he knew what an ass he made of himself–in front of a line of customers–would be ashamed of himself.

Customer Type: Learn the Language

[Via http://memoirsofretail.wordpress.com]

Lady Gaga Naked

Here she is you tit-mongers.

I don’t understand it.  Whatever this bitch does, it’s considered “art”.  Right, you get a Japanese dude to put your busted face on camera, squeeze your tits together with electrical tape and and splash paint everywhere and call it art?  I’ve taken shits that make me think more than these stupid photos do.

Hit the jump for the NSFW photos

Link to NSFW Gaga Nude Photos

[Via http://procrastibate.wordpress.com]